Have you ever cried till you had no tears left? I’m sure everyone’s answer is “sure, hasn’t everyone?”. Well have you ever heard “suck it up” or “stop that crying before I give you something to cry about”? I have heard it and said it. For some reason we don’t want to cry or see others cry. Is it a weakness? Or is it a sign of strength?

Only I’m not talking about the kind of crying that happens when you get your feelings a little hurt or your ego bruised. Or how you whine when you don’t get your way. No, I’m talking about the reasons we cry that break our heart. Really, really cry.

There have been times in my life that I can remember crying so hard I thought Death would feel better. Sobs that come from deep in your soul. From a place very few people are even aware exists. It feels like your heart may burst at any minute and your insides are in a twisted knot. Your throat burns like you’ve drank acid and your eyes are nearly swollen shut. Your wailing is so loud it’s barely distinguishable as human. You don’t even recognize your own voice. It is a hurt that you never…ever forget. It begins loud and nasty and lasts until you are utterly exhausted. The tears finally stop flowing and you are left with your shaking and limp body. Will you ever be able to rise from the spot you have ended up on the floor? Will you be able to gather your senses and lift yourself up? Can you see anything other than your broken heart?

Somehow, every time, I found that strength. Most people do. But it wasn’t until I was utterly empty of that emotion. I spilled it all out. I couldn’t cry another tear in that moment.

Sometimes you have to let it out. It’s the thing that helps your mind and body get past that brokenness. It becomes a restart for the heart.

Recently I moved away from my grown children to make a life with my husband. It was the right move for me. My children knew it. I knew it. But some days… when I’m in the shower or in my car. Alone, and no one can hear.. I let the tears come. I let myself grieve for what I have lost by moving. It doesn’t mean I am not happy here or that I want to start packing. It simply means this is a broken heart moment for me. I let it all out, then I regroup. I get to the point there are no tears left then I pull my self up off the floor of the tub, or pull my car back onto the highway, and I begin again.

Sometimes, it’s ok to cry. It teaches us strength and perseverance. It lets us know emotions are real and they help us to deal with this life. It gives us that restart we so desperately need.

Next time someone is going through something, hug them as tight as you can. Don’t let go. Whisper in there ear that it’s ok. God is in control. This world is not our home… His love can pick us up from any situation. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be mad. It’s ok to scream at life. It’s ok to fall in the floor in a mess. It’s ok to let it out till there is no more. It’s ok.

God can handle it and so can I.